Orgasms are fine, but sex seems to be just a big hassle for me. Most of the time I would rather just read a book than go through all the trouble of sex. I love being around my boyfriend, cuddling and kissing are fantastic, but I just don't seem to ever want to take the next step. He has a high sex drive, so we usually have sex daily. Sometimes I compromise by fooling around, which I like a little better. This is not the first time I've felt this way. In the past I have classified myself as "asexual" because of the way I have felt with other boyfriends. I'm excited because I actually like kissing this one.

Is there a way to increase my sex drive? Is this something that I can fix with more frequent masturbation? (I have a vibrator, but it just seems to sit in the closet ... taunting me!) What should I do?

The problem could be that you need more time for your libido, your desire for sex, to recover. I don’t want to put absolute numbers on this, but let’s say, for arguments sake, that in a perfect world suited to your needs, you’d have sex every three days. You’d be completely satisfied after having sex and you wouldn’t feel a strong enough desire for sex to initiate it until a few days had passed. Now your boyfriend wants it every day, and he’s giving you an orgasm every day. So you’re more than sexually satisfied. You’re having more orgasms than you need and so you never feel a very strong desire for sex. The last thing you need is to use a vibrator to masturbate. You need sex less often, not more often.

My recommendation would be to allow him to have sex with you on one night where only he has an orgasm, and then the next night you both have orgasms and see what happens. You might have to add another day in between so that you wait two days to have an orgasm. In other words, I think with a little compromising, this doesn’t have to be a big problem. But if you continue to have sex every day where you have orgasms, it could develop into a problem, which it already has to some degree, which is what prompted you to write your question to me.