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Why can I only orgasm alone? |
While sex is amazing with my fiancé, I can't orgasm. I come very close, but I've actually never been able to orgasm with a partner.
The only way I can climax is by crossing my legs and squeezing and moving them back and forth. I started this when I was a very young child before I knew what it was. I can't duplicate it manually or with toys. I don't know how. I enjoy oral sex, but can't stand having my clit touched as it hurts rather than stimulates me. Softening the pressure makes it less painful, but does nothing for me. HELP! It's frustrating especially for my man who wants nothing more than to please me. What am I stimulating when I'm alone and how do I duplicate it?
What’s happening is more psychological than physical. You’ve gotten used to achieving orgasms a certain way and it’s difficult for you to break that habit. Here’s what I would suggest that you try. With your partner there, begin the procedure that causes you to have an orgasm. When you are very close to having an orgasm, and the first few times it may even require that you are actually beginning to have an orgasm, stop what you are doing, spread your legs and tell him to begin oral sex. I say oral sex because his tongue is going to cause you less pressure and limit the possibility of causing you pain.
Hopefully by working together this way, he’ll be able to take part in the process of giving you an orgasm. When you’ve successfully accomplished this, slowly over time, introduce him into the act at an earlier and earlier moment. In other words, start masturbating the way you are used to, and then stop and have him begin oral sex at an earlier stage. The concept is that you’ll break the psychological barrier and so eventually you won’t need to use your method at all. Understand that you’re both going to need some patience, it’s not going to be that easy and that you may actually make some progress and then take a few steps backwards. Try not to get frustrated, but keep at it. If you really can’t get anywhere, then I suggest you see a sex therapist.
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