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What if he's not a sexual person? |
I am 24 years old, I have been married and have a son. I left my husband because he became abusive after we got married. The divorce was almost 2 years ago. I am seeing a guy who is also 24, has never been married and has no children. We get along great and have been going out for 4 months. I would really like to take the next step and I would like us to make love.
He would like to wait, he has only had one serious girlfriend and they waited almost 2 years. I guess I don’t mind waiting, but I honestly don’t want to wait 2 years, and I am afraid that he is not that sexual of a person, which isn’t bad, but neither was my husband and it left a bit of a drift between us. I felt we were lacking in that connection. How do I know if that will happen again? I guess I am afraid of going through that again and I want to share a sexual connection with the man I love.
Normally I would say that if one partner wants to wait to have sex, the other person should respect such a wish, but the situation you describe does seem a little odd. I understand that you don’t have intercourse, but do you have any other types of physical contact? Do you kiss? Hug? Hold hands? Do you touch each other physically? Since he waited two years the last time, had sex but didn’t marry, or at least that’s what I understand, it doesn’t seem to be so much a moral problem. In any case, my advice is not to try to force him to engage in intercourse, but do try to make the relationship more physical and see what happens. If he really wants it to be hands off, and if you don’t, then maybe you may decide to end it.
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