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How do I keep our sex life from being one-sided? |
My boyfriend and I have sex almost every day, but I rarely orgasm. It feels to me like it takes a long time and if I do orgasm, it is because I am stimulating myself and that takes a while too. This is getting very frustrating to me because I end up feeling like our sex life is one-sided.
He isn't hesitant to make sexual requests or tell me what he likes. However, I just take things as they come and feel awkward asking for specific things in bed. He does things he knows I like and makes an effort when I bring things up, but I usually end up feeling like I give more than he does. I know it isn't fair to "keep score" when it comes to sex, but I've started to because I'm so frustrated that he doesn't seem to be concerned that he can't or won't take the time to bring me to orgasm. I end up feeling like he asks for a lot and isn't concerned with my pleasure. What do you suggest to improve this situation? Thanks.
Have you had a serious conversation about all of this? If I had to guess, I would say that you haven’t. You’re keeping score in your head, but not really talking about how you feel. Now maybe he really is selfish, but you know what? He can’t read your mind. Maybe he just doesn’t know what it is you need, especially as you’re not exactly sure either. So my recommendation to you is to go for a long walk somewhere and talk about your sex life. Don’t do it in the bedroom, especially when you’re having sex. Do it away from the place you have sex. If during this talk he doesn’t listen to you or if he refuses to change his ways, then you have a decision to make. But right now, stop keeping score and instead open the lines of communication. Let me know how it goes.
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