|
What happened to "in sickness and in health"? |
We have been married for 10 years now and at first we made love like bunnies. Then after 2 years, it went down hill, big time to me.
She always says she is just tired from working or her hormones have changed. I get upset and that's that. We now have sex, rather than make love, which to me, is a big difference.
I came out and told her that I wasn't looking for regular sex, but the magic we used to have. This was a big mistake. She finally, after 8 years, tells me that the 50 pounds I put on during our marriage has disgusted her and she can’t get sexual excited by me.
To me, this means that every time we have had sex over the past few years has been a chore for her. I am a chef and know I have added weight, but she never said she didn’t like it or I needed to lose it. She herself has gained as well, but I see her, not just her body, and I love her and enjoy being with her sexually.
The past 2 years I have become a stay-at-home dad of 2 and given up being a chef for the time being. It’s hard to get exercise when taking care of 2 boys. That is a full time job as it is.
I want to be healthy and have big plans on it starting yesterday. However, the big thing is what she said and how she said it hurt. I would have thought a loved one would have said something before it got to where it is now. I don't get dressed near her now, I don’t dare touch her. I feel sick! In a way, I am starting to feel hate for her even. She is a great mother and I thought wife, but what happened to sickness and in health?
I’m not sure I believe her. From the way she said what she said, it sounds like there’s more to all of this than just your weight. Your weight is probably part of the problem, but I believe there’s more to it than that. Your relationship is definitely damaged and I don’t think that if you lose the weight that it will be enough, especially as it will take some time to lose 50 pounds.
This is not a sexual issue, but a relationship one and the sooner you get help, the more likely that you can fix it.
|
