How can I control premature ejaculation?
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I’m a 20-year old gay male. When I receive oral or give anal sex, I seem to reach orgasm really quickly, almost too quickly. 
I don't have premature ejaculation because I can masturbate for a long time. When I give oral or get anal I don't orgasm as fast. I also was circumcised at 13 and not sure if maybe this might have something to do with it.  Do you have any idea why, when I'm with someone, I reach orgasm really quickly, but when I'm by myself or receiving anal, I can control it better?   Thanks.

 

ImageIt’s nice of you to diagnose yourself as not having premature ejaculation, but I’m afraid your diagnosis is wrong. Obviously having sex with another person is a lot more arousing than masturbating and when you are more aroused, you lose control over your ability to control your orgasms. If this bothers you, which I assume it does since you’ve written to me, then you have to learn how to get that control.


  Basically it means learning to recognize the moment of inevitability, the moment at which it is impossible for you to stop from having an orgasm, and right before that, pulling back so that you lessen your level of arousal. There are many books that offer you advice on how to do this in greater depth, or you could see a sex therapist. But you definitely are a premature ejaculator, though you should be able to learn to control them, if that’s what you want to do.

 
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