If he doesn't want sex, why does he frown upon my masturbation?
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I have been married almost three years and my husband has completely slacked off. I mean I want it and he doesn't.
I ask him if he's wanting more and he states that he doesn't. So on the days that I want it, he rejects me or gives me sympathy sex. But when I get myself off, he gets mad. Help!

 

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Are you masturbating in a way that he definitely knows what you’re doing? If so, and whether you mean to or not, he’s going to think that you’re rubbing it in his face. I’m all for masturbating to relieve sexual tension when one partner needs to have sex more than the other, but I would tell you to do that in private. Since you live together I understand that may be a little difficult, but anything you can do to maintain your privacy with regards to masturbation would be important.

Of course I don’t know what’s going on in your relationship with regards to your overall sex life. Is it just that he has a lower libido than you, which is just the way it is and you should accept it, or is he masturbating too and so has less of an appetite for having sex with you? Or are there relationship issues and that’s why he doesn’t want to have sex. If there are added complications, then you should consult with a therapist. But if it’s just a matter of differing sexual appetites, then continue to masturbate, but try to do it in such a manner that he doesn’t know about it.


 
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