Is my husband really in pain or is it just an excuse?
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I have been married for almost 20 years. My husband hurt his back about eight years ago and still has lots of problems with it. For the past several year,s our sexual activity has been diminishing greatly.
It was happening once every four to seven weeks and now it's even less frequently. He can do anything else he wants (work, farm, etc), but he refrains from sex more often than not, his back hurts too much. This is very depressing and I've told him how much it hurts me, but that hasn't helped.  The marriage is good besides that, but I need more. What should I do?

 

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I’m sorry, but I don’t believe him. To me it sounds like he’s using his back as an excuse. I don’t know why he might be doing that, but something doesn’t sound right to me. Of course the missionary position might be one that does cause him pain, but there are plenty of other positions that shouldn’t cause him pain if he can do farm work. Why don’t you buy a copy of The Joy of Sex and show it to him and tell him that the two of you are going to try some of the positions diagrammed in this book and see which ones he might be able to engage in without pain? If he refuses to even try, then you’ll know that it’s not his back that is the problem.


 
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