Where’s The BANG And BOOM?

ImageI am twenty years old and in college. I was a virgin up until two months ago when I had sex with my boyfriend. I had planned on waiting till I got married, but then started dating him and I couldn't wait any longer. I had always imagined it to be incredible physically, but I am finding that it is not what I had expected. I have only orgasmed once in the two months we have been sexually active. Is this normal? I don't know why it is so hard for me to orgasm. Masturbating seems to get me to have an orgasm more than sex does. I do enjoy sex and it feels great but I want that BANG and BOOM that I hear about and see in movies. Do you have any advice?

ImageLots of advice. First of all, let's begin with that closing BANG and BOOM. When you're driving in your car, do you want to have an explosive crash like you see in the movies? Or have some drooling space alien chase you down the block? Or ... you get the picture. The movies are not real life and when people have sex, the earth does not move.  Here's another problem with the movies. In the movies, sex that leads to orgasm is always depicted as intercourse. But many women do not get sufficient clitoral stimulation during intercourse to reach an orgasm. In your case, you were able to do it once, but not most times.  Here are a couple of suggestions to remedy this dearth of orgasms. The first is to have your boyfriend give you an orgasm by stimulating your clitoris either manually or orally before or after intercourse. The other is to switch to a position where your boyfriend can stimulate your clitoris with his hand during intercourse, such as the female superior or side by side positions. But you should be aware that some women find that the physical act of intercourse distracting so that even though their clitoris is being manipulated, they still cannot obtain an orgasm during intercourse. 

One last piece of advice: while two months may seem like a long time, it's not. As you and your boyfriend keep practicing, you'll both discover what pleases you. So try some of the changes I've suggested and don't become impatient and I know you can have a satisfying sex life.

 
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