I have been in a relationship with a lovely young woman for two years. We have discussed marriage and the future extensively. Last week, she visited a friend (a heterosexual male, in fact) that likes her. She stayed at his house for an entire week in another state.

Hi, Dr. Ruth.   I was previously married for 22 years divorced know for 5 years. I use to live in Connecticut after divorced I move to Florida . Then I met this gentleman through the internet a year ago. He seem the perfect man to share the rest of my life with. He sounds so understanding and gentle. He also felt attracted to me. I came to meet him and his family last year. He has a wonderful family 3 children 8,17 and 20. Two were in college.  Very nice well educated kids and he is a very tender person.  So I decided to come here and get married.  He came to Florida to help me move to New Jersey where he lives.  He still is a very nice person, but sexually it is been a disaster. He does not seem to be interested in sex at all, and I am the opposite. I am 43 and he is 45 years old.  I am always ready to make love to him, but he would rather watch a game and he says later, later. Later he falls sleep then days pass by with no love making. He also likes me to go down on him, he enjoys a lot to come in my mouth while he is introducing a plastic penis inside me, but I do not really enjoy this kind of foreplay feel I am being use.  I like to enjoy and feel my partner, be able to hold him and feel him inside me.  It seem he does not enjoy this at all. I have been open and talk to him. The excuse he is giving me, is that he is taking high blood pressure medicine and I have to wait for his treatment to be over.    I am really afraid is going to be the same all the time. I have no desire of getting married any more, and do not know what else to do any more. It seems for him sex is not that important in a relationship. Life is ironic, my ex-husband use to be a sexual man.  We use to make love everyday sometimes 2 times.  He was a very active man.    I really do not feel happy about this. I ask my self, can I live like this the rest of my life?   I personally think sex is a very import factor for a successful relationship.  I am wrong Dr. Ruth?   Do you think I am wrong?  Can a couple survived in a situation like this.  I am so confused, sometimes I think it is me that is wrong..... It's like giving up on life, like there is no future...  He is a good man.... but how about me?

Please advise...

Thank you Dr.

Confused. 

Is flirting good for a relationship? I am a 34 yr. old male in a committed relationship. I have no intentions of cheating or anything even remotely close to that. I am totally in love with my girlfriend, we have been living together for a year. I'm not really a flirty kind of guy, especially now, but I used to be, um, friendly or kind of flirty I suppose. It's fun, and makes me feel good about myself. I usually don't, or don't consciencely do it, but I do it occasionally with NO intentions of it going anywhere. Please tell me what you think.

When a husband chats on-line with another woman, is that cheating?