 My wife and I have been married for 14 years, and obviously since I'm
writing this, things aren't going so well. My wife has no sex drive at
all...none. We've talked about it, fought about it, and talked and fought
about it some more but things don't seem to get better. I try to be
understanding and end up frustrated. It's an ongoing issue that is seeming
insurmountable as time creeps by...
When we first married, things were never really passionate, but my wife did
participate and seem to enjoy somewhat. We've had 2 children together.
Our sex life consists of me asking for sex (my wife has only initiated
making love a very small handful of times, her sighing and acting miffed
(but she usually submits b/c she is under the impression that it is her duty
to have sex with her husband), me asking how she would like to proceed in
fooling around (we have 2 positions to chose from), and me performing the
act. I ask permission to please her in other ways and I'm denied, she
doesn't participate at all, and doesn't reciprocate anything... she hasn't
touched me in years, and gives me grandma kisses (never open mouth)...
and... she sleeps in the same bed as our children (not me)... and she thinks
this is normal... (you know, when I'm writing this down, I realize just how
messed up things are...)
I have begged my wife to see some sort of counselor with me, but she
refuses because she is very shy.
I don't think she is having an affair, I have never had an affair and am
absolutely faithful, I'm not bad looking, I'm healthy, I don't smoke, do
drugs, drink heavily... I am a good provider... I am a good husband other
than my wife asking me to help out more around the house... I don't get
it... did I do something that my wife can't forgive me for? ( I don't think
so...?) is my wife in love with someone else? do I give off an odor she
doesn't like?
I see and hear of other couples with great relationships and they enjoy each
other sexually as well.
I am hurt and angry...
It would be different if my wife indicated that she wanted to make things
better. Recently she implied that this is who she is... this is it, and
it's not going to get better... I just about died inside...
What do I do? I love her, but my heart feels like it's in a vice.
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