My husband has expressed a desire to get involved in "swinging," I am not interested in this for many reasons. My problem is I cannot find anything negative about this lifestyle anywhere. I know that there must be an increased incidence of stds and divorce, but I cannot find statistics to support this. Is there any where that I can get an honest answer to my questions? Every web site or article I find paints a rosy picture that is too good to be true. 

I am a 50-year-old woman who has been married for 20 years. My husband and I have not had sex for seven years now. I have gained about 70 pounds, and my husband told me that I was too fat for him to have sex with me. However, he gets on the Internet and looks at porno. What do you suggest I do? I do not want to go without sex for the rest of my life, and I do not want to look outside the marriage.