Dr. Ruth's Q & A
 Though I haven't ever been in a real physical relationship-- especially now with my college studies being so important that a relationship of any kind would only serve as a distraction--recently I have been worried about my nipple rings. I got the piercings done for my 18th birthday and absolutely love how they look, so there is no way I would take the rings out and have the holes heal up under anyone's wishes. I'm aware not all people are interested in piercings (especially that area), so I was wondering when the best time would be to mention of their existence to a guy, if I were to have a relationship with him. |
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My husband and I have been together 11 years (happily married for six) and have a 2 year old son. We have a sturdy relationship, a great sex life, and love each other very much. However, we've both noticed that after sex we almost always have a huge fight mostly over things that aren't even that important. Why?
We both know this will happen and have even made efforts to keep our emotions at bay to keep the fights down, but its like we have a hormone surge or something and just can't help it!!! Whats going on?
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My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years and have had very happy and wonderful relationship. Our sex life has never been frequent. For the
last year we have sex once a week on the weekend in the morning. I can't
stand the routine but I take what I can get because I really can't stand the
infrequency. I mustered up the courage to ask him about having more sex.
He thought this was a great idea. However, after the discussion nothing
changed. I brought it up again 2 months later. He made some excuses and
then finally said that I could have sex whenever I wanted. All I would have
to do is put my vagina in his face and he would be more than happy to
oblige. I'm not sure what to make of this. I'm not comfortable with this.
Yes, i'd get to have more sex out of the whole situation but It feels as if
he isn't attracted to me per say. I know that nudity is generally a turn
on, but this seems unreasonable. Is this a matter of how men and women
differ when it comes to attraction or is he asking me to do things he know I
won't do to end the conversation?
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My husband is 35 and I am 34. My husband is making alot of comments about how I am a grown woman and I don't know how to put on make-up (I don't wear it, only lipstick and how I don't wear heels nor get my nails painted. I was never the type of woman who would wear all of that stuff and he knows this.
This is how he met me. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable about these
comments. I spoke with him and he said it just irritates him that I don't
know how to do these things. I believe he is looking at other women. I am
a plain Jane. I am a full-time nursing student, we have 4 small children
(1,3,6,8) leaving me 45 pounds heavier than I was when we first met and
he is the only one working (for a paycheck; NOT in the house, if you know
what I mean). We've been together for over 12 years, married only one.I
feel like I don't know how to bring sexy back. I haven't felt sexy in over 4
years. Please help me.
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I don't even know if this is going to help my situation...I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and a bit and for the past 9 months we haven't had any intimate contact what-so-ever. We had this issue before, and he confessed that he had problems when it came to that department. He felt he lacked experience and confidence. I assured him time and time again that this was okay and we can work together. Now, we are once again in a "dry" period. I've spoken to him about it and his explanation is that he is too stressed and tired.
9/10 times that we did have sex, I was the one to initiate things. Is it so wrong for me to want HIM to start something? I don't want to push him but I feel like our relationship is taking a toll and that we are becoming more friends then anything else.
Despite my better judgment, the last time that we went through this, I had an affair with a co-worker. This was a year ago. I didn't have the affair because of the lack of intimacy but because of the lack of emotional connection and commitment. He found out and long story short, we solved our issues.
I keep feeling guilty. I don't think that our lack of sex is due to the affair that I had cause we had that issue before I ever did that. The thing is, sex to me is important in a relationship. I need to feel intimate with my boyfriend.
There are other issues in our relationship but this is a big one. I hope that you can help me. Give me advice or set me straight. This is driving me crazy.
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