Dr. Ruth's Q & A
 I am 25 years old and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend
for 6 years. He is the only serious mate I have ever had and I am
about to leave to pursue a Master's degree in another country. I have
never been apart from him for any long period of time and the reality
is now setting in for both of us. He has mentioned taking a break from
the relationship just in case it may mean that our careers may take us
in other directions. However, I think we have resolved that situation
and we are going to try to make it work for the 1 year duration of my
Master's degree program. Practically, it may be feasible for him to
visit me once in 2 or 3 months, but bearing in mind that soon he will
also be pursing his Master's degree, I don't want to put him on such
an obligation.
I know for a fact that I am not a fan of communicating via telephone
or instant messaging on the internet with him...I find that somewhere
our true emotions get lost and we work better when we can see and feel
each other. Phone conversations can get boring and routine and lately
I realize that we now have a daily 'format'. "How are you, how was
your day, what are you going to do tonight?" - that is actually the
order and format. I am afraid our relationship will get boring once
the physical distance between us increases.
Dr. Ruth, we have already discussed marriage by the time we both turn
28 or so and we even discussed having children and how many we would
ideally like to have (he wants lots! like 5...) Should I really be
worrying if this relationship will work out? I would like some advice
on maintaining this long-distance relationship.
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I have been seeing a man for a little over a month. Initially it started as I
might become his ballroom dance partner. While I am still his dance partner,
we have become interested in becoming sexually involved. Two issues. Upon my
asking, he admitted to being married, living in same house, but not in a
sexual relationship with his wife. "They have separate bedrooms.", per him.
Some of our friends in the dance group have been to his house and what he
said seems to be the case. Next issue, he is retired and is a dance host on
cruise lines for the past year. About 6 months ago he told me he slept with
2 female passengers. That is not allowed on ships. Claims he realizes that
was a mistake and after the up coming cruise he will not take such long
cruise. My concern. He is going on a 2 month cruise and I believe we should keep sex
out of our relationship until he returns and then evaluate the situation
between us. If I have sex with him, I would use a condom and believe both of
us should be checked for HIV.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years. I love him dearly,
wouldn't miss him for the world and I also don't have any complaints about
our sex life. But last night, I had a very erotic dream about an ex colleague
of mine (for whom I used to have feelings, but that wasn't mutual). What
does this mean? Why was the dream about this ex colleague instead of about
my own boyfriend? I feel kind of guilty now....almost as if I've cheated on
him.
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Well, the thing is, my girlfriend and I have been having sex for over two months and I've ejaculated in her over five times. She has not had her period in two months, but she took two pregnancy tests that came out negative. I just don't know if she is pregnant or not. Can you help us? |
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I would very much appreciate your view on the situation I found myself. I
have been dating a married man for more than two years. When we started our
relationship he has been married for 15 years, without children. He claimed
to have a good wife, but would not be sexually attracted by her. Despite
him being married, our relationship was very intense and we met every day,
including weekends. At the beginning of our affair things were turbulent and
while we broke up he had another affair. I gave him another chance, but
remained skeptical. This led to several other arguments, in the meantime
his wife found out for us and insisted to have a baby. She also had an
affair in the meantime. They have a baby now, but he is not happy and
continues contacting me. Would you think their marriage is a good one and
can last and what, in you view, position should I take?
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